How has autism changed your life?

This question was asked on an autism message board that I frequent. Here is how I answered:

Well I am still in shock that I have a child with Autism. I thought dyslexia was sad enough! The stress level in our home is beyond describing. We are dealing with anger, bitterness, sadness, fear, confusion, guilt. Some days we do better than ever and can talk back to those emotions and tell them to leave. Other days they overtake us. We have credit card debt for the first time in ten years. We planned to live debt-free. I have been home with our children since 1992. That was the plan. We homeschool our children. That was the plan. Rethinking all of it... Our older children are struggling. One is on anti-depressant. One has pretty much turned back on God. The others finally admitted that Jaden embarrasses them when we go out. There are health issues that we ignore because all of the appts and money are for Jaden. We have a hard time interacting with others who don't really know what it is like to have autism in the house. It is exhausting packing Jaden and her things to go anywhere. It is heartbreaking to put in the effort and have her sit by herself and play instead of thinking the other children interesting. Or worse, be so unhappy we have to leave... We are lonely. And divided. On the good side, I found out I am not as selfish as I thought I was. I found out I could love unconditionally. I found out I could learn if what I was learning was important enough. I found out I have a loud voice and use it every chance I get. I found out I will fight like a cat when it comes to my kids. I found out that when you ask for a gift, it doesn't mean the gift will be perfect. I found out that at every turn, my God is faithful.