Today has been a really tough day for me. Granny came and took God's Grace to her house for a sleepover! She brought two little friends with her, ages 6 and 8, sisters. The little ones were all going to spend the night with Granny, have popcorn and movies and lots of hugs. When the girls were in the living room playing, I asked Jaden to run to her room for socks. While she was gone, I asked the girls if they knew Jaden had autism. They said yes. I told them that is the reason Jaden might not answer them when they ask her a question, or might not be able to talk with them about a lot of things. One of the little ones said, "yeah, she talks FUNNY!" and then in an instant regretted it, bless her precious heart. I assured her that I wasn't mad, and that indeed, Jaden does talk 'funny'. I asked her to have lots of patience with my girl when they played and told her God would bless her for it.
I thought that was the end of it. Granny and the girls left and I went to bed, as planned, for a long nap! Only I couldn't sleep. I cried instead. I can pretend that my girl is 'ok' as long as there are not many children around to compare her to. As soon as she gets around some her own age, who are blessedly free of disabilities, she stands out like a flashing red light. The children just stare with their eyes wide open.
I am tired, weary and struggling to work 1,000 a week to make 10. Yet, to give up would mean flapping, staring at lights, screaming and screeching, no words, no looking into my eyes, however briefly. I don't have a choice. I wish there was more blessing for my hard work. Oh, God! Open my eyes to SEE what you are doing! Move SWIFTLY! Heal my girl in powerful name of JESUS!
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About Me
- Bon
- A busy Christian mama who is being changed quickly and profoundly by autism.
Helpful websites
- http://talkaboutcuringautism.org
- http://autismwebsite.com/practitioners/us_lc.htm
- http://nathhan.com
- http://intentionalparents.com
- http://missionautism.com
- http://hiddenrecovery.com
- http://autismgames.googlepages.com
- http://Vianow.org
- http://do2learn.com
- http://brainchildnutritionals.com
- http://starfall.com
- http://marriagebuilders.com
- http://generationrescue.org
- http://difflearn.com
- http://first-assembly.org
1 comment:
Oh how I can relate to your pain with your sweet little girl.... I feel this way almost daily with my son. I grieve the loss of who I thought was a "normal" child- I miss that little boy. It is so painful to see him around NT children- heartbreaking actually. It happens all the time- at school, the park, the store- anywhere we go. But on a positive note, my little man has been placed in my life by God to have me do great things- I am going back to school to become a teacher and eventually a diagnostician. I feel this is the way God is leading me- and it is all due to Lucas being in my life the way he is. I am starting to listen more to God and not question it as much. Is it still hard everyday- yes....but evidently God thinks I can handle it! Hope you have a good day :) Jill
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