Compared to others

One of the easiest ways to see if a child is different is to place them in an enviroment with other little ones who are about the same age. We didn't have much opportunity to do that with JadenGrace. We homeschool most of the children and are home alot. I don't leave the house for work so all of our children have gotten used to being home a lot, having a set routine and semi-set schedule. I found that they did really well in that enviroment, especially as small people. I do remember a few times when Jaden was with other children, even if for just a minute and I 'knew' (but didn't know) something was not right....
When she was 14 months old, we traveled to NJ to attend my neice's wedding. I was so excited to see my younger brother who has a son only 10 days older than Jaden. They got together several times during our trip....and I couldn't help but compare. It wasn't a big deal--I don't spend a lot of time trying to make people be someone else--but just this nagging kind of feeling that Jaden wasn't doing what Jack was doing. Not in terms of intelligence. I couldn't put my finger on that feeling. It didn't last long, though. With a busy toddler to chase and lots of family to visit, I couldn't spend much time thinking about it.
Then, we arrived home in time for Morgan to dance at our church's Christmas celebration. On those special weekends that Morgan dances with the other girls, we practically live at the church. There is one service on Saturday night and two on Sunday morning, all of which Morgan has to be there early for. We live 1/2 hour away so I would usually stay with her, and Jaden, trying to get dresses ready and put up hair while making sure that JadenGrace didn't make the great escape. There were two times that I felt that same feeling as when we were in NJ--the first was a simple moment when a fellow Mom and friend, whose son is also very close to Jaden's age, was spending time in the hallway teaching him something. If I remember correctly, he wanted to get far away from her and wouldn't listen so she took some time to train him to stay close to her while he was walking with her.....I wondered to myself: If I tried to teach Jaden that, she woudn't get it. Not at all...I wondered: Is she strong-willed? Do they spend more time with him than I do with Jaden? I need to.....and if I just do....and I want to....
You get the idea.
Then, the same weekend, I mentioned to another Mom that Jaden doesn't come when I call her. At this time, she was about 16 months old so I didn't expect perfection, just progress.....If I let her down onto the floor, she would be off running and wouldn't stop until someone ran after her and brought her back. She never looked back. She never wondered where I was, or saw the danger in leaving my side. But lots of children do that....the trouble was not just that she wouldn't come when I called, but that she wouldn't even LOOK when I called. Like she was deaf, or didn't know her name yet. So when I mentioned this to the Mom, Jaden was already halfway down the hall. I called her over and over. She never turned around. The mom said "Oh, all babies do that! Watch this!" and she then turned her attention to Jaden and said "JADEN! DO YOU WANT A COOKIE?" and of course Jaden stopped short and turned around and came running back. I didn't have a cookie and I don't like to bribe anyway, but I was amazed. I let it go. This Mom must be right. I saw it with my own eyes.
This scenario plays out the same way right now, too, at 27 months old. If we call her name, she never looks. She appears deaf. But if I say "Jaden, do you want to take a bath?" or "Jaden, do you want to eat?", she will come running. She hears the question, but not the name.....
There are always so many memories I want to share but not enough time. I need to get off here and take a shower. (My very funny hubby always says, "You shower?" when I tell him I need to go take one) I could spend all night typing and reading and learning about autism. It has become our life right now. I couldn't change that if it was necesary.....but I do have to force myself to say goodnight when it gets about this time....so I have enough reserves left to serve my family tomorrow.